Knowing your spouse

"The word sex or sexuality does not appear in the scriptures. Rather, it is described in holy writ with the words Know or Knew. This idea of “knowing” or “becoming acquainted with” connotes a deeply satisfying aspect of married love” (Brent Barlow). Why then do so many good LDS people shy away from such a beautiful thing? For many it’s actually a source of frustration and contention in their marriage. This “inability of married couples to intimately relate to each other is one of the major causes of divorce” (Barlow). Obviously God created man with the ability to create other human life, and procreation is a wonderful part of marital intimacy. But also, “God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness” (President Kimball). Isn’t that the deepest desire for a marital relationship? Knowing that each individual puts aside their “self” to become “one flesh,” with their focus on God. The physical relationship in marriage is an essential part of the “being one” which God intends in marriage. But the physical relationship is not entirely the meaning of “know” in its covenant sense. To “know” your spouse means that you need to be faithful to that spouse - not only in the physical relationship but also in all aspects of the marriage: support, comfort, friendship, service to each other, etc. Sadly, the media makes a mockery of this very specially relationship in marriage, making it a common activity outside of marriage, and removing the covenant behind the action. Elder Parley P. Pratt once noted that “our natural affections are planted in us by the Spirit of God, for a wise purpose; and they are the very main-springs of life and happiness they are the cement of all virtuous and heavenly society.”