Partners in crime

Sometimes raising children is hard . . . really hard.

Parenting is frustrating, exhausting, demanding, exhilarating, and wonderful.

Having a partner on this mad roller coaster of a ride is a beautiful thing. Someone who is your equal, someone who has the same desires for the family, someone who will have your back when things get hard. It is important for parents to be united when raising the children in their family (or at least to show a united front to the children while working out disagreements behind closed doors). When a child learns that one parent will undermine the other serious damage can be done.

President Hinckley has counseled us that “in the marriage companionship there is neither inferiority nor superiority. The woman does not walk ahead of the man; neither does the man walk ahead of the woman. They walk side by side as a son and daughter of God on an eternal journey.”

I may not be a woman’s rights activist, a feminist, or all about “woman powe,” but I do appreciate the efforts made by thousands of women everywhere to bring into light the equity that should prevail. In both sense (man power or woman power) the relationship is knocked off balance, and the marriage relationship does not function properly. Rick Miller, the Director of the School of Family Life at BYU, said, “The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children… The wife, also, should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy. Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic. She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him.”

The true form of marriage is actually a partnership of equals. It is side by side decision making, both the easy stuff and the hard stuff, both the easy work and the hard work, and everything in between. Coming to a consensus in the relationship can be a hard chore in and of itself! Thankfully, we have been given a great example, the counsels of the Church, of how to work together as a couple to reach decisions. Having time set aside to hear each person’s perspective on the decision to be made, and listening with a heart willing to understand rather than contend, then prayerfully considering all the options before reaching a unified decision.

Unified parenting is powerful, it is the kick behind the hot sauce, and it is everything that a couple needs, your partner in crime.