Covenant vs Contract

We live in a world that is all about me, that’s right, ME!

It’s about what I want to do, what feels good to me, and all about what I deserve, right?

Well, that certainly is the message someone would get whenever they see or hear a commercial, or watch the news.

Individualism is the key to society…or so we are told.

Satan has wedged his way into our way of thinking and viewing ourselves. There is a need now to be our own person, free of the restraints that other people put on us, and this includes marriage and a family. Elder Bruce Hafen, from the quorum of the seventy once said, “Our deepest God-given instinct is to run to the arms of those who need us and sustain us. But [Satan] drives us away from each other today with wedges of distrust and suspicion. He exaggerates the need for having space, getting out, and being left alone. Some people believe him—and then they wonder why they feel left alone.” Certainly personal successes, goals, and aspirations are a good thing. Everyone does need some time to themselves where we can reflect and rededicate ourselves. However, when it becomes all about me, then all of the blessings that come from working on ourselves are now damaged or faulty. When we forget ourselves and “go to work” we actually grow as individuals, and these sacrifices are more than we could have achieved otherwise.

When God created Adam he also created Eve to be a “help meat” for Adam. Adam needed this companionship, he needed someone who could compliment his roles, and bring a balance. When people are alone they become lonely, which is a word that is associated with sadness and sometimes despair. Individuals must have some reliance on others; they are meant to live, learn, and grow with other humans in order to receive joy.

Some people today wonder what marriage even is. They question wither or not same-sex marriage should be prohibited. Perhaps divorce should be more difficult to obtain. There are people that believe this is none of society’s business, because marriage is just a private contract between two individuals. However, our modern prophets have told us that, “marriage … is ordained of God.”  Ordained is defined as “holy” or something that was “predetermined”. Obviously God intended marriage to be part of this earth life, and something to be treated with respect. Viewing marriage as “holy” places it at a higher level than a simple contract. Elder Hafen reiterated that, “Even secular marriage was historically a three-party covenant among a man, a woman, and the state. Society has a huge interest in the outcome and the offspring of every marriage. So the public nature of marriage distinguishes it from all other relationships. Guests come to weddings because, as Wendell Berry said, sweethearts “say their vows to the community as much as to one another,” giving themselves not only to each other, but also to the common good “as no contract could ever join them.”

This leads us to believe that marriage isn’t just a private contract that can be canceled when disagreements occur, but by nature it is a covenant. Elder Hafen said, “Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. Many people today marry as hirelings. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children and from each other.”